Arguments are likely to arise in any kind of relationship you can have. Disagreements with others are quite natural but the significance lies in how you handle them to retain your relationships. In such a scenario, developing the skill of arguing in a healthy way is really important. Here are some tips you could pursue to turn a dispute into a healthy conversation.
- The approach- The first thing you need to do is to explore the issue personally before starting to talk on it. After this you may approach the dispute in a timely manner. This means that you should handle the issue before it’s too late. Neglecting a problem will only aggravate it.
- Proper communication- Effective communication is essential for settling an issue in a pleasant way. While communicating your point of view, be sure not yell, shout, curse or use bad words.
- No blaming of others- There are people who always blame others over an issue. This is not a good policy. Remember that others can do the same to you and the dispute will never come to an end.
- Listen to what others are saying- Never hesitate to listen to what others have to say. Unless you listen you won’t be able to know what actually is tormenting them. So be a good listener.
- Focus on the persisting problem- People have a tendency to dig up past issues while stating their views on the current problem. This is really unproductive and can make things worse. So focus on the current issue alone.
- Discuss in a calm environment- Choose a nice environment to discuss the problem like a park or the lonely corner of a coffee shop.
- Seek peer assistance if necessary- You can seek the help of a friend common to both the parties, if you feel it’s necessary.
- Express yourself- While dealing with the matter, never fail to express what you felt and what you want your partner to understand about you. This would help to resolve any misunderstanding that might have occurred about you.
- Don’t run into assumptions- Never run into assumptions or prejudices about others over a single incident. There are people who shout and get angry and are still good at heart.
- Give time to respond- After stating the problem, give and take enough time to think and respond. This will ensure ease in handling the problem as a whole.
- Time-outs- If you feel that the talks are turning into an undesired direction, use a time-out. A time-out is a cool off session which can help to freshen up thoughts. After a time-out people usually feel better.
- Readiness to compromise- Compromising should not be understood as ‘letting others win’. It is a mutual policy of deciding over something, when opinions differ. Compromising refers to modifying your opinion not your personality.
- Seek a solution and work together- Once you are ready to compromise, seek for a good solution and work together on it. Make it as easy and pleasant as possible and it would surely make your relationships stronger than before.
Arguing in a healthy manner makes relationships healthier. One should realize that individual differences are natural and that it should be accepted respectfully as far as possible.
If you believe your relationship is worth preserving, then learn to play fair with arguments.