In a recently concluded seminar on human psychology and behavioral disorders, every one spoke eloquently about the demerits of “anger” in human life. “Anger is the straight path to hell”- This was quoted from scripture by one learned man. A famous psychologist expressed surprise at the ways how children and young people show anger in their demeanors now-a-days. We heard from him that how terribly young minds fall victims to mood swings while they are frustrated and angry.
Pent-up anger in you turns into resentment acting as a catalyst in causing serious diseases like heart ailment, blood pressure and other mental disorders. Anger is one of the reactions from psychological and physical stress, with which you are unable to cope up. However dignified your personality may be, gradually it will be evolving uglier dimensions, if you do not control your anger.
“I am afraid of nothing, except my ferocious anger”- A very senior bureaucrat remarked in the above seminar.
He carried the compunction about the ways he rashly beat up his wife and kids while he saw them committing slightest faults. He was lamenting that his children were very poor in their studies but masters in aping his angry tantrums. Although they were lesser aged but perfectly imitated the foul language of their father when they fought bitterly over small things, causing pandemonium. He lamented that his wife was frequently falling sick, watching the children fight like cats and dogs. His family has gradually become a living hell.
Another speaker in the seminar cited a televised show on in one of the religious channels. Renowned “yoga” guru swami Ramdev had called in an assembly of doctors from leading medical institutions across India and in this doctors spoke about their families and particularly about the cause of death of their parents. In most cases the cause was hyper-tension and blood pressure. But the symptoms are always angry outbursts in behavior.
Your anger might be having damaging repercussions on every aspect of your life, but one candid admission is anger is a genuine expression of your self. You need not suppress your anger rather give it a constructive edge in order to make it more creative.
“Anger has to be consciously and constructively guided because there is a lot of energy harnessed within it”-Said one spiritual master in the same seminar.
The following are few anger management tips to guide you in case you have a very angry nature.
Pause your anger for a jiffy and apply lateral thinking - When you feel angry, naturally it charges your mind within seconds. Literally you are possessed and begin crying and screaming. There may be a nasty scene of fighting and quarrelling in the offing. But it has already been tested time and again that you can apply lateral thinking when you are angry.
But buddy for that just hold on for a second or two without getting carried away by anger. Let’s listen to what a gentleman said in this regard.
The gentleman saw red when he saw one elderly person urinating just before the gate of his house. It was extremely embarrassing and in a sheer bad taste. He cringed literally chocking in the foul smell of the urine.
He was angry and almost shivering in desperation to catch the neck of the person, who was zipping his pant in lucid satisfaction from attending to the call from nature. But our gentleman was not going to shout nor charge the man in rage. He went in a slow paced motion and said- “Sir Can you give me your address and phone number? I am just going to write on a placard for you and post it in front of your gate. You know what shall write on that in bold letters;
“FOLLOW DECENCY BY NOT URINATING BEFORE HIS HOUSE, WHO DOES NOT HAVE A LITTLE SENSE FOR THE SAME”
The man who heard this was visibly in a shock. He apologized profusely, promising not to repeat it again. The situations which usually make you angry and frustrated can be converted in to occasions of learning a life-time experience. Such experiences can be illuminating for others to follow.
To apply lateral thinking, you need to watch your thoughts for few seconds- Normally people trained in meditation are capable of doing this. They are able to tackle anger because they have silenced the reactivity of their minds. You might not be capable of doing it because your mind is very restless and you are hot headed in provocative situations. But try to do this exercise in the situations which make you very angry. Just feel the anger without reacting for a few seconds. Hold your reactions for some seconds and keep silence.
There we would suggest you to observe your thoughts for a while and then observe your breathing Just shift between the two. You will find an amazing transformation within your self. Anger melts under your observation and your capability for tolerance gets strengthened.
You will be able to apply lateral thinking to transform untoward experiences of your life. Just know that what you call “mind” does not have a specific existence. What you know as mind is just flow of thoughts in your consciousness.
Anger is just a thought. It travels at an unbelievable speed and make you lose your self-control.
Know the root cause of your anger - Whether justified or not? On the occasions, when you recover from the aftermath of your anger, you repent for you reacted sharply. But have you ever tried to know about the root cause of your anger? You simply can not do it because your ego disallows it. Just take one instance and try to dig up the fact that made you lose temper.
Suppose your daughter is not doing well in her term examinations and that makes you livid in anger as you see her dull performances in her progress report from school. Is this not true that you can not take dullness of your child as a fact of your life? The reason is you can not step out of your egoistic feeling that you used to be a brilliant student. As your daughter, she has to be brilliant.
But as you accept her not-so-remarkable grades as a fact, you shall never feel angry rather find ways to improve her performances.
Anger is your power-try to divert is for a better cause - Believe it, your anger is your power. A lot of mental energy is drained out when you are angry. The good news is you can harness it for a better cause. Try and point your anger and aversion towards your own habit of getting angry at the slightest provocations. That will strengthen your self-will for resilience and keep you calm in tense situations.
Test your limit of tolerance and keep improving it- It is said that there is a limit to everything. But have ever tested your limit of tolerance? How much you can tolerate in challenging situations. May be not.
We suggest that you try this exercise, just go to the nearby high-rise and without taking the help of lift, begin climbing the steps in the stair-case. Keep on counting the number of steps as you rise. Disallow thoughts and be focused on climbing the steps. There will be a time when your body and mind will force you to stop. Mark the number of step and know for sure that is your limit of tolerance. Beyond that you simply can not go. Repeat the exercise time and again and try to climb more steps in the staircase. That will boost up your level of tolerance and confidence.
You feel angry and fatigued as you push up the stair case, but you will feel relaxed and happy once you climb down the stair case and there we suggest you to count back the number in the opposite direction at a slow pace.
Just apply this exercise with a bit of difference in real life situation. For instance on an occasion someone said you such words that made you severely angry. Just keep mum for some time and count back from one number in silence in descending order. That will divert your anger or its impact will be lesser.
Yoga and meditation can help you to remain cool- Meditation helps a lot and keeps you cool. Three kinds of Pranayama (breathing practices) can keep your body and mind cool like an ice. Those are Sithali, Sithkari and Saddant. Any good and qualified pedagogue in Yoga can teach you the breathing exercises, which will keep your blood pressure under control and save you from stress.