Long-man Dictionary of contemporary English defines ‘sexual compatibility’ as the ability to have a good relationship with someone because of similar interests, ideas etc. The first relevant question is to know whether sexual compatibility is a myth or fact. The first fitting reply to this is ‘compatibility’ in sex is measuring certain related factors of mind not those of body.
Writes Prakash Kothari distinguished Indian sexologist-“Sex essentially lies between two ears and not between two legs”
Moreover, the term ‘sexual compatibility’ is related with human psychology and consequent behavioral aspects. Fantasies about physical intimacy do not play a role in determining sexual compatibility.
Sexual compatibility is fact, not myth.
Let’s see some of the factors behind sexual compatibility;
- Sexual compatibility comes in the areas of desired frequency in having sex after marriage, variety and priority given to intimate behavior. It is to be borne in your mind that after marriage, you need to make certain adjustments to face challenges from living a successful sexual life.
- Sexual incompatibility arises due to misunderstanding about different needs of man and his woman in the areas of related sexual behavior. It has to be understood by you that there are gender related differences in sexual desires. There are unique differences in the sexual wiring of men and women. Sexual compatibility can be the natural outcome of proper understanding of couple about their sexual urges. Understanding plays the key role in creating perfect sexual compatibility between you and your spouse.
- The requirement for sexual compatibility is in the areas of frequency, variety and the degree of emotional engagement that you should keep with your spouse in married relationship. It concerns the importance and interest placed on the sexual dimension of the marriage. Sexual compatibility improves as you work through your differences with your spouse. The stress must be on building up intimacy and adapting sexually to each other.
- Experts opine that sexual compatibility is a learned behavior and it can be achieved to the highest degree only with time, efforts and a lot of practice. Any casual test can not act as a sure indicator of sexual compatibility. Furthermore, any kind sexual act outside the marriage does not predict sexual compatibility of partners.
- As psychological intimacy is an important part of it, marriage is the best kind of relationship to develop such compatibility in a full-fledged manner. In marriage, there is full involvement of mind, body and soul. The synergy between the three creates the best of understanding in your marital relationship. As you invest more and more, the compatibility comes into existence and there is spontaneity in your sexual behavior
- There are couples, who struggle hard due to sexual incompatibility. It is because they show impatience to test the learned things from books and movies. Usually such intolerance brings disasters to your marital harmony. Knowing each other sexually and acting compassionately to sexual urges brings the highest order in sexual compatibility.
- The necessity in the marriage is to get educated about sexual preferences. For this you must keep total allegiance towards your life partner. Given the fact that maladjustment in sexual life can lead to sexual incompatibility, you need to shift your energies in to a proactive and compassionate physical relationship towards your spouse. Personal adjustments matter the most in creating compatibility.
- Sex in an integral part of emotional bonding in marriage. Discovering each others’ passionate feelings strengthens the marital chord. In other words, sexual compatibility and emotional bonding supplement the relationship in a full-fledged way.
Indian astrology (Vedic astrology) is enormously helpful in finding emotional and physical compatibility between couple. If you are a believer, you may want to adequately educate yourself about the basics of sexual compatibility in marital life. Also, before marriage, if you psychologically prepare by reading and consulting with the experts, it makes your life enjoyable.