/* This is an exercise in writing a satirical piece, not to degrade anyone. Have a laugh if you could have one */
“Informed sources say Prime Minister Manmohan Singh brushed his teeth very firmly on his own” – It flashed at the bottom.
“Let’s move over to this breaking news developing story only on CNN-IBN. Our reporter is at Prime Ministers residence. What is the latest on this breaking news ?”.
“Yes Rajdeep. Prime Minister Manmohan singh was so firmly brushing his teeth when our cameras filmed the action. It was like Dara Singh brushing his teeth for Colgate advertisement. By the way we are also looking into if Dara Singh and Manmohan Singh are related”.
“That’s fantastic. This is the breaking news of the moment. Dara Singh and Manmohan Singh could be related. Did you also see UPA chairperson Sonia Gandhi nearby..?”
“Yes Rajdeep. We could see Sonia Gandhi nearby. But she did not interfere in Dr. Singh’s actions. We could see her often whispering into Singh’s ears. That’s all”.
“That’s great. Here on CNN-IBN, we have a breaking news story. Dr. Singh has firmly brushed his teeth before retiring to bed. It seems he had some suggestions from UPA chairperson Sonia Gandhi on it. But it was out and out Dr. Singh’s show. Here on CNN-IBN, the developing story “Dr. Singh brushing his teeth firmly on his own”.
Rajdeep turns to the discussion panelists.
“What do you think about it..? Dr. Singh has been finally able to brush his teeth firmly on his own. In fact the pressure he applied seemed like Dara Singh. He is the the modern Dara Singh of India. Finally the pressure center has shifted in India to this modern Dara Singh. It seems he could even be related to Dara Singh. Things are moving at a fast pace. What is your comment on it?”.
“Rajdeep.. This was long waiting to happen. It was the Left that held Dr.Singh from brushing his teeth firmly for all this time. They used to keep whispering in his ears to prevent him from concentrating on brushing the teeth. Now that the Left is no longer there, Dr. Singh has been on his own firmly”
“Left has been highly irresponsible. They wanted to brush the teeth, but were only whispering in Dr.Singh’s ears. They should have given Dr.Singh a helping hand. What do you say..?”
“Yes Rajdeep. I agree with you. Left was irresponsible. It did not lend a helping hand to his brushing the teeth. Instead they were only whispering into Dr.Singh’s ears. This is what led to their defeat in West Bengal and Kerala”
“Yes. At the same time what do you think about Sonia whispering into Dr.Singh’s ears. Do you think she could have given some active suggestions to brush actively ?”
“Yes.. I think she has been giving him some serious, useful suggestions Rajdeep and directing Dr.Singh how to brush. Their chemistry is great. It seems Dr.Singh smiled broadly everytime he heard the whisperings of Sonia and it helped him in his brushing more firmly.”
“DMK lends a helping hand to Dr. Singh. DMK seen extending its own three fingers to hold the brush instead of Dr.Singh’s. And the fingers were all that of DMK Chief Karunanidhi’s sons and daughters”.- It flashed at the bottom.
“That’s the happening story here on CNN-IBN. A breaking news story. Dr.Singh has additional three fingers from DMK and two more fingers from TMC apart from fingers from many other parties to hold his brush. The sons and daughters of the chief of these parties have extended their fingers to hold Dr. Singh’s brush. With all these fingers, Dr.Singh will soon brush his teeth not like Dara Singh, but like Mike Tyson. Since there are many son’s and daughter’s now to hold the brush, it is going to be a mix of youth and experience that will be doing the brushing. Let’s go over to our reporter covering this news from Prime Minister’s house”
“What is the latest on this story..? What is the final decision on sharing of ‘responsibility’ for brushing of Dr.Singh’s teeth?”
“Rajdeep.. there is a problem. DMK wants to remove some of Sonia Gandhi’s fingers and use the fingers of DMK Chief Karunanidhi’s siblings to hold Dr.Singh’s brush. And mamata wants the left hand index finger for herself and herself onely. Like last time every party wants to hold some part of the brush while Singh brushes his teeth. But Dr. Singh wants more fingers of UPA chairperson Sonia to hold the brush, with whom he has better understanding of..”
“Here on CNN-IBN breaking news story. DMK and TMC wants to hold Dr.Singh’s brush like last time. Since some of these fingers did not hold the brush according to wishes of UPA chairperson last time, UPA chairperson Sonia Gandhi is negotiating with allies to hold Dr.Singh’s brush more firmly through her own. But Dr.Singh is in absolute control of his brush. Here on CNN-IBN, breaking news story. Dr.Singh in absolute control of his brush. Singh is King”
Rajdeep turns to discussion panelists.
“What do you think about Dr.Singh’s steadfast approach to brushing his teeth ? In fact one parameter that is behind LK Advani’s loss in the match with Dr.Singh seems because he criticized too much Dr.Singh’s style of brushing the teeth. What do you say..?”
“Rajdeep.. You are right. I think LK Advani criticized Dr.Singh’s brushing of teeth often. And people of India got fed up with the criticisms. So they voted for Dr.Singh and all his people who brushed his teeth along with him again.”
“Yes. Here on CNN-IBN, we are reaching a major conclusion on the post-election analysis. This is a major breaking news. First on CNN-IBN. LK Advani lost the election only because he criticized Dr.Singh’s brushing of teeth. CNN-IBN has concluded it that way. Here on CNN-IBN, the breaking news story on India’s post election result”- Rajdeep shouts in a high pitch.
“Get up.. Get up.. It’s not enough if you shout “Brush the teeth, Brush the teeth”. Get up and really do it”- said my wife, waking me up from a nasty dream.