- Mrs.. Ashima M.Sc, B.Ed with 8yrs work experience.Current occupation- Housewife
- Mrs. Trisha B.A.(hon.), NIIT with 9yrs work experience. Current occupation- Housewife
- Mrs. Sabari MBA with 3yrs work experience. Current occupation- Housewife
- Mrs. Dipti, BE with 15yrs work experience. Current occupation- Housewife
A welcome trend that we are witnessing today, due to the awakening brought by education, is – the rising number of confident housewives/ homemakers. Just a few years back, women who were housewives, they felt inferior to the working women. But it’s not like that anymore. When questioned about occupation, women proudly declare themselves as homemakers. This is because they are housewives by choice. They are not just educated, but some are highly educated and professionals too. These are women who have already worked outside, before childbirth or marriage. Being educated and having had work experience, women today are in a better position to decide their priorities. The head is held high because they have the confidence that they can always return to work, when the appropriate time comes, or need arises.
It’s certainly a welcome trend for the children. Children are our future. Shaping their life properly is more important, particularly in today’s scenario, where nuclear family is the norm. Before going for a baby one should carefully weigh the responsibilities of child rearing. However technically advanced we may become, nature will always prefer mothers for children. Women’s natural instincts are always sharper, when it comes to dealing with children. Bringing up happy children needs lots of patience. When the mother is always their for the child, the child feels a sense of security always. This sense of security is greater today because housewives are much independent now. They do not depend on the male members of the family for petty things. They can drive, they can handle works related to banks, bills, policies, everything. For children these days, it’s often like –‘my mamma strongest!’ Because mamma prepares their lunch and drops and picks them from school, mamma helps them in studies and extra-curricular activities, and takes them shopping and movies, mamma plays football/dolls with them and also rushes to the doctor when required.
The greatest advantage of staying at home is –mothers are in regular touch with school activities, regularly monitoring studies and actively encouraging extra-curricular activities. Not only school activities, but any kind of change in behavior pattern of the child too comes to the notice of the mother immediately. The first one or two hours after returning from school are the golden hours, when the child is eager to tell everything that happened in school that day. This eagerness slowly dies as the time passes. With working mothers, by the time they reach home, the child’s enthusiasm subsides and he tells just one or two incidents and that too on asking. So there is not much option left for the parents, other than waiting for the PTM. A stay at home mom’s patience and observation of the child’s changing needs is always greater. Her strong presence raises the emotional quotient of the child too. Trisha left her job for her two years old daughter’s sake, even though she had the luxury of having her own parents staying nearby. She emphasizes-“Emotional bonding at this stage is very important for a strong foundation.” She wants to closely observe her child, to know her social, emotional and communicative skills and thus guide her accordingly.
If there is a good support system at home, then it is okay. In many families grandparents themselves willingly take the grandchildren’s responsibility. If grandparents are physically able and willing, then there is no better option. But grandparents should not be taken for granted. After all, they have duly done their duty of bringing us up. Now it’s their time to rest and expect loving care from the children. It’s being insensitive, if we expect them to run after toddlers, play with them and feed them at their ripe age. With their sagging energy levels, they themselves need support. “It is not possible, actually very risky, for our aged parents to handle the tantrums of a 2-3 year old child”, says Ashima who stays with her Parents In Law ,but quit her job when her son was two.
Also, it is not advisable to leave the child entirely under domestic helps supervision, without any family member around. Not only is it unsafe, but also, the child gets a poor role model. A three- four year old child who is picking up language and etiquettes may pick up the maids actions and language. “I never liked the idea of putting my son under a maid’s care”, says Sabari. She declined her NGO’s offer to join them again in a similar project which she was doing six years back before child birth. If children do not get a good role model at their young impressionable age, then in later life we can only blame ourselves if something untasteful happens.
Children too feel lonely in the absence of parents. Loneliness in young children gets expression in the form of irritation, poor diet, poor immunity, not wanting to go to school. They are unable to express their feelings properly in words. So it gets expressed in other forms. Teenagers take refuge in the electronic media- T.V., mobile phone, internet, or they fall in bad company.
God granted us children because he considered us to be responsible enough to hand over a child’s life. The all round development of the child is the parent’s primary responsibility and not that of the maid or the cretch.At least during the age of two to six years, parents should concentrate on the child’s strong emotional growth. If the foundation is laid strong with good family values, then the future too will be safe.
No one on earth can replace the mother. Motherhood is the best job a woman can do, more so with her education and confidence. Staying at home does not mean waste of education. Real education can never go waste because education prepares us for a broader practical life and not just for a job. It shapes our values and thinking, which is passed on to our children. With confidence and intellect in place, no one can take away a woman’s identity as a person with a strong mind of her own.
Photo Credit : JusSri