“You say that father writes a lot of books,
But what he writes…..I don’t understand.
He was reading to you all the evening,
But could you really make out what he meant?
What nice stories, mother, you can tell us!
Why can’t father write like that, I wonder?
Did he never hear from his own mother
Stories of giants and fairies and princesses?
Had he forgotten them all?”*
This is the importance of mother! The mother becomes the child herself in her love for her offspring.
Starting from the day the child grows within her to the time when she/he becomes an independent adult, the mother’s heart beats with and in the child’s heart. The fact that mothers carry the child in their womb, itself creates the beautiful bond between mother and child. The child is not a separate person for the mother, but very much a part of her. And hence she protects, cares and guides the child as she would do to herself. Natural motherly instincts guide the mother in matters of child’s wellbeing. Nature entrusted the job of bringing up kids primarily to mothers because of their natural intuitive mind and patience.
Patience, observation and understanding the child are the pillars of good parenting. Young kids in their growing age are like saplings, very delicate. Any harsh treatment damages the sapling and retards its proper growth. So is with kids. They have to be guided with love and lots of understanding. It requires understanding the mental level of the children and coming down to that level to explain and understand the child’s feeling. Little things matter in parenting little kids. A baby crying at night may annoy the father, but not the mother. She will try to find the cause of the crying and treat that cause. She will first taste the food herself before giving it to her baby.
Mother is the one who can immediately understand the needs of an infant by its expressions. She is again the only one who understands the sign language and the little unclear words that the child says when he starts talking. Motherly intuition is the first one to detect any problem in the child’s world. In case of danger she will definitely be the first one to rescue him, even when the father is around. She cares for the child, cooks for the child, plays with her, teaches her and punishes her and loves her with all her heart and soul.
“Say of him what you please, but I know my child’s failings….
When I must punish him he becomes all the more a part of my being.
When I cause his tears to come, my heart weeps with him.
I alone have a right to blame and punish, for he only may chastise who loves.”*
The temperament of men is designed by nature to take care of matters more outside the boundaries of home. Men have evolved into the hardier, physically stronger of the species because they have to function away from the safety of home, in the world of competitions. This they do for their family, but the nature of their manly work robs them of their feminine feelings which are necessary for healthy mental growth of the delicate baby. The child needs tender love and care till he/she reaches a certain age. This tenderness is bestowed by nature to mothers.
Modern life with both parents working has led many fathers to rekindle their dormant feminine instincts as they help in the caring and upbringing of the child. But still, the natural connection and bonding that develops from the womb cannot be replaced by anyone.
Mothers are indispensable for healthy emotional development of kids because they are more approachable not just for kids but adults alike. Women are better listeners and they try to delve into the deeper meaning and causes of any emotion of their offspring’s. Mother’s love cannot be replaced. Mother and her love is like a breath of fresh air. She is like a cool island in life’s harsh sea. Her’s is the most unpolluted, pure love in which the child knows he can breathe freely, happily, safely.
“Baby was so free from every tie in the land of the crescent moon,
It was not for nothing he gave up his freedom.
He knows that there is room for endless joy
In mother’s little corner of the heart
And it is sweeter far than liberty
To be caught and pressed in her dear arms.”*
*(The quotes are from Rabindranath Tagore’s poems, ‘Authorship’, ‘The judge’, and ‘Baby’s Way’ respectively, from his collection ‘The Crescent Moon).